Understanding Executive Functioning and How Therapy Helps

By a Richmond Therapist Who Specializes in Kids, Teens & Their Families

If you’ve ever wondered why your child can explain a concept clearly but can’t seem to get their homework turned in, or why getting ready in the morning feels like a chaotic race every single day, executive functioning might be at the root of it.

Executive functioning is a set of mental skills that help us manage time, focus attention, switch between tasks, regulate emotions, and plan for the future. It’s basically the brain’s management system—and when it’s not running smoothly, everything else feels harder.

As a therapist who works with kids, teens, and parents, especially those navigating ADHD, autism, anxiety, and sensory challenges, I see executive functioning struggles all the time. They can look like laziness or defiance from the outside, but they’re usually signs of a brain working overtime just to keep up.

What Executive Functioning Challenges Look Like

For younger kids, executive functioning difficulties might show up as:

• Constant forgetfulness (where did that backpack go… again?)

• Trouble following multi-step directions

• Meltdowns during transitions

• A desk or backpack that looks like a tornado blew through

In tweens and teens, it can look more like:

• Procrastination followed by panic

• Time blindness—underestimating how long things will take

• Struggles starting or finishing tasks (even ones they want to do)

• Emotional outbursts when overwhelmed

These kids often know what they’re supposed to do. They just can’t seem to do it consistently, especially when stress, fatigue, or distractions get in the way.

How Therapy Can Help

This is where therapy comes in. My work often focuses on helping kids and families understand what’s going on beneath the behavior. Once we name it, we can work with it.

In therapy, we build:

• Self-awareness – helping kids understand their brain and how it works best

• Practical strategies – tools like visual schedules, timers, and checklists to support memory, organization, and transitions

• Emotion regulation – because executive functioning and emotional regulation are closely connected

• Parent collaboration – so home life gets a little more peaceful and predictable

• School supports – including communication with teachers or IEP/504 consultation if needed

I also weave in mindfulness, CBT and DBT-informed skills, and a lot of real talk. I treat kids like humans—with respect, humor, and honesty—because that’s what makes change stick.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Figuring It Out.

Executive functioning challenges aren’t a character flaw. They’re a brain-based reality. And with the right support, kids can learn to work with their brain instead of constantly feeling like they’re falling short.

If this sounds like your child (or your teen… or maybe even you), you’re not alone. It’s not too late to build these skills—and therapy is a great place to start.